[Toraerie] Re: Words of Wisdom and Poetry

[Eyja Bassadottir]

Thanks Ciara for the pointers!

On Nov 15, 2007 5:02 PM, Mary Jane Thillen <queen_frizzle at yahoo.com> wrote:

>
> For Lady Eyja specifically, some poetry points (If I didn't poke at one,
> it's because I think it's perfect as-is.):
>
> 1. N'er, I believe it is spelled.  Used for Never, and never doesn't have
> an e on the end. (Of course, maybe it does in norse poetry?)
>

Quite right about the 'e' at the end.  But I think it's supposed to be
Ne'er, isn't it?  I always thought the ' was substituting only the 'v'...
(my spell check apparently recognizes ne'er but not n'er)


>
> 2. Maybe "is like a word worm" for the end? Wood rot sounds too short.
> Maybe "rotten/ed wood"?
>

I'll puzzle it out.  It follows the 4-5 syllable rule for the metre, but I
suppose it sounds short due to the fact that 'but apathy shared' is five
syllables.

3. It feels odd for the first segment to end in "or".  Either version is ok
> for me, the new one is less violent.  Did you intend the second r on "stirr"
> in the last line?
>

That's easy fix.  Just move it over to the second segment.  :-)
The extra 'r' is apparently my quirky spelling on stuff and I didn't spell
check it like I should.


>
> And overall, Eyja-doll? Well done.
>

Thanks.  :-)


>
> I was wondering if we were planning on keeping the non-poetry versions?
> Maybe put them next to the poetry? You know, for those of us who just aren't
> quick enough. (I had to look at the list to see what you were aiming at for
> a few. >.<)
>

That's what I had in mind, but I am trying to make the stuff more and more
clear so that it won't need quite as much thinking to figure out what I'm
trying to say.

In fact, I have updates (minus the puzzling on #2 -- I'll work on it over
the weekend), including a slight rearranging in terms of flow.  The other
updates are in the intro, 6, and 3 -- not counting the spelling corrections.


Here is foretold         for who follow
    in our Tower Tall:
Drink, my daughters,   the draughts of Mimir,
    o goddesses of gold.
Stand, my sons,     with Odin's sight
    o seeds of Heimdall's sons.
Come to know      this knowledge of old
    of Aerie kin now gone.


 1.
    Ne'er before studies     should Society come.
    Nor be sorry     for living life.

 2.
    Cheer, like silver,    is cherished when spread
    but apathy shared    is like wood rot

 3.
    Whether word-skilled or         silent in speech
    a captain must say    commands to others.
    Yet better still        is clear strong words
    so no questions        within may stir.


 4.
    Though the foot not know     the arm first-hand
    When falling, the hand     can help the foot.

 5.
    Beware the war-maids    who fetter mind
    Panic murders    even mighty men.

 6.  (originally 8)
    Officers do     your duties well:
    to superiors give    your written words.

 7.  (originally 6)
    The friendly folk         of blue fielded snow
    have memories long,    they're sure to know.

 8.  (originally 7)
    When a guest abroad    best not to forget:
    food is better    with plate and fork.


Þakksamliga,
Eyja
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